In 17 days (which happens to be my birthday), I’m flying to Florida to go on vacation. Without kids (which makes me happy), and without my husband (which makes me sad).
I’m going to Universal with my older brother and my parents. Just the 4 of us haven’t gone on vacation without my husband since I met him 8 years ago. It will be strange, but I need the break. NEED it. And, unfortunately, I couldn’t go if he didn’t watch the kids this time.
There’s 135 ounces of pumped milk in the freezer. My goal is for around 210 ounces. I’ve never pumped so much for an exclusively breastfed baby as much as I have for this guy.
This morning, I’m feeling very middle fingers up to the world. Just, kind of, very fuck it all.
So, I sit here drinking a drink. A Truly, to be exact. It’s 8am. I’m watching YouTube videos about the best snacks to eat in Universal, even though I already know the answer. I’ve got boxes of sunglasses and sandals next to me, picking out what looks and feels the best.
My husband is late for work, because he doesn’t give a shit anymore either. He’s planning on putting in his 2 week notice tomorrow.
I guess he’s feeling pretty fuck the world too. Or maybe, he’s feeling a little bit weightless about the whole thing.
So…that’s life right now. Me, watching YouTube and drinking a Truly. My husband is late for work, once again, and not giving a shit or feeling anxious about it.
My kids are building a road out of tape on the floor.
And I just don’t care about any of it.
Go ahead and quit your job. Go ahead and make a mess. Shit, go ahead and do whatever it is that you want to do today.
I’m 17 days, I’ll be drinking Butterbeer.
Grit your teeth, pull your hair,
Paint the walls black and scream, “Fuck the world
‘Cause it’s my life, I’m gonna take it back, “
And never for a second blame yourself.
Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one…