29. And isn’t it a miracle?

We’re here, we made it. Another birthday.

To be honest, today doesn’t feel like my birthday in quite the traditional way. I did eat cake last night, and we had breakfast sandwiches early this morning for breakfast.

My husband woke me up at 3:45am (thank you?) because he was excited or anxious or whatever else and couldn’t wait to say Happy Birthday to me. Then the baby woke up at 4:30, and the big kids woke up at 5. Sigh.

I’m currently sitting in the airport waiting for flight number 1 out of 2 to depart. The first flight has been delayed significantly, and now we’re concerned about making our connecting flight. This is turning into a stressful morning with all of the delays.

We SHOULD arrive in Orlando at 5:39pm…and I’m really hoping it isn’t later than that. I’m still breastfeeding, and that’s a long time to go without being able to pump. Seeing as it’s currently 10am.

I left my husband with all 3 kids, and 232 ounces of breast milk in the freezer for the baby.

As far as my birthday goes?

I touched on it last night…but I can appreciate how my 28th year went.

I was sober (pregnant), for a lot of it. I had a baby. I made new friends, grew in my communities, and improved a lot of my relationships.

Therapy started going in a direction that has been extremely positive and beneficial. And that alone has been game changing.

My life will always be hard. I’ll always be a birth mom. I’ll always know what it’s like to feel the grief of losing a child. I will always be a mom to 3 boys with significant special needs.

And I’ll always be facing an uphill battle when it comes to my own health. Getting steeper as we go.

But…I wouldn’t say I had any MAJOR trauma in my 28th year. And I certainly cannot say the same about years 27 or 26. Or, most of them, for that matter.

28 was hard. It brought a lot of challenges. A new baby, job instability, trying to buy land…

All within the past month, my husband quit his job, I got so weak that I can no longer hold the baby, and we’re trying to buy land. Meanwhile, we have no income…because my husband quit his job.

Of all my years…this one is certainly the most unknown. I have absolutely no idea where we go this year, or what will happen. It’s all uncertain. I don’t know where we’ll get our income, how we’ll pay our bills, or if my husband will find what he’s searching for.

But, last night, he took his licensing exam and he PASSED. Perhaps the biggest hurdle we’ve faced since quitting his job. That was a huge relief.

Well, we’re still sitting in the airport. Our once 10:26am flight is now saying 12:17. And it’s getting awfully close to our connecting flight time. Well only have a few minutes to run to our gate….. assuming this doesn’t get delayed any further.

It’s technically fine…we always fly in a night early so as to not eat into our actual vacation time. Still, kind of a sucky way to spend a birthday.

At least I’ll sleep tonight. I’ll have my own bed and my own room.

Keep your fingers crossed that my flights don’t continue to get delayed….