I had an entire post that I wrote this morning, ready to publish.
But, then, as it always does, life happened.
Lately, it feels like things are constantly going wrong. I’m managing one crisis after the next, and I just don’t have the wherewithal to deal with it anymore. I’m tapped out in absolutely every sense of the word.
If it weren’t for my trips coming up next week, I would absolutely have given up by now. My trips are the ONLY thing breathing life into me.
Everything is just moving so fast, and happening all at once. Health issues with my kids (yayyy genetic disorders), behavioral problems (why not add that into the mix?), money problems, car problems, my husband being gone and not having a paycheck from work for months because his dad is dying and he was taking care of him, car issues…
All of it and more.
Life is heavy right now. It’s really heavy. The heaviest of all being the weight of my kids and their struggles. Now my 10 month old is showing some really scary symptoms and it’s just…it’s so hard. We may be facing a hospital admission within the next few days but we’re not sure yet.
I don’t know how to do it all, to meet everyone’s needs…I don’t know how to help.
I’m pouring and pouring, but my cup has been empty for quite some time.
I don’t know how to carry the weight of the world when I don’t have the strength to do that.
I’ll leave you with these pictures of my 4 year, who earned a lollipop for listening at PT and OT yesterday. I wish I could be as happy and excited as he is all the time.
He’s my happy go lucky, absolutely wild child. And he’s exhausting. But I love him.