Opening up my heart…one inch at a time

I’m awake before the sun here in Florida this morning, and it’s travel home day. The hotel window overlooking my gorgeous view is fogged with humidity, as it is every morning. Still, I can see the sun making it’s way up and over the horizon.

By some actual miracle, I was able to pack nearly everything into my carry on and backpack AND zip it closed. Last night was souvenir shopping and boooooy did I cut it close.

But 3 Spiderman toys and 1 Baymax later…I know I’ll have some happy kids.

Hurricane Lee seemed to have taken a turn north this morning, and should hopefully NOT impact my early morning travel plans to fly to NY tomorrow.

Yes, that’s right, I’m flying home from Florida today, will get home at 4:30pm, and then I’ll turn right around to leave with my 10 month old and husband at 3am to fly to NY to see my best friend. It has made the sting of leaving here much easier.

I know I haven’t written about Thursday yet, and I will. But I’m also feeling very in the moment right now, and I want to get these thoughts out while they’re right here.

Last night was probably my favorite night. A theme of this trip has been that’s it’s been AMAZING, but also that I’ve been very in my head. I tried hard to break out of that last night at dinner, and I think I succeeded. I opened up, I talked about some of the things that were heavy on my heart, and I even admitted that I was angry. But that I feel like I have to reason to be angry.

Everyone sitting at my table reassured me that there absolutely is a very valid and real reason to be angry. About so many things. I made a lot of new friends, some of them lifelong. And that’s what the whole thing was about.

Yesterday was a pretty chill day. It was “community day”, so we kind of just hung out and did what we want. I resort hopped to a few different hotels, and then we headed to Disney Springs and eventually dinner at the Boathouse. It was an amazing dinner with a ton of appetizers, I got seared tuna as my entree, and they let us each get an alcoholic beverage too. I can’t even imagine the bill on that dinner for them!

The restaurant was even so kind as to bring us a dessert on the house. And it was sooo good.

After dinner, we headed back to the hotel, and up to the lounge on the 16th floor, which had a gorgeous view of 3 of the parks with tall landmarks.

I talked with Katelyn and Tori, 2 of the people who put this whole thing together. I thanked them endlessly and told them to PLEASE USE ME.

I shared that my heart is in this to help. That I feel called, for whatever that means, to help this community. I so badly want to be an advocate for the adoption community, for birth moms, for adoptive parents so then can better understand our perspective and to better the life of the child overall. That’s what this ENTIRE thing is (or at least should be, about. The child.)

They gladly took me up in my offer and said they would absolutely “use me”.


I’m officially sitting in the airport, at my gate. I’m sure I’ll do some more writing and more reflecting as I have more time to myself, but for now, I feel okay. I haven’t had a single moment to myself in days, I’m leaving my house at 3am tomorrow for leg 2 of my “vacation”? and I’m excited.

I cannot WAIT to get home and take a freaking shower.

Messy hair and tired eyes? But I’m going HOME.

1 thought on “Opening up my heart…one inch at a time”

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: