Tis the season, I suppose

Merry Christmas Eve to anyone who does the whole Christmas thing.

I am doing my best to not let the anxiety of this season get to me…and I think I’m doing a…decent job?

Phoenix handled his surgery mostly well the other day. He had a lot of trouble recovering from the anesthesia, and a few other issues, but is overall recovering well. He still can’t really breathe, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping his attempted activity level. greaaaaat.

Christian got what I thought was incredibly sick yesterday…like, I was POSITIVE he had the flu. He started running a low grade fever, his feet were killing him and he was shivering. He’s had a super minor cold the past few days, so the spike in symptoms freaked me out. But he’s back to normal today, and we think what happened yesterday was just extreme fatigue. He had been running up and down the driveway, and I think gave himself a huge asthma attack that he couldn’t recover from. He had all the rescue inhalers and went to bed early. I’m just so glad he’s feeling better today. I didn’t sleep at all because I thought the flu for sure was headed for us.

My brother got here yesterday without complication…much unlike last years shenanigans which was filled with drama and chaos and bad weather.

My husband and I have been feeling really strong again and pretty much completely back to normal. That’s the biggest miracle of all right now…I just can’t function when we’re not good.

We went out shopping yesterday morning to get some last minute stuff for the kids, and it felt good to actually be able to get something for them. Money has been disgusting bad these past few months…thanks for the $4-500 a WEEK I’m spending in therapy bills…yeah. It’s been fucking brutal.

Today’s been….rough. So far. My husband went out first thing this morning to get some really last minute things, leaving me here with everyone. Kids, my parents…everyone. And whenever my oldest son and my dad are around…they hang up on me in really unfortunate ways. My dad always has some passive (not so passive) aggressive bullshit to say to me. And it is the most triggering shit in the world for me.

I’m doing my best.

I’m doing my best.

This is not the easiest time of year for me. But it could be worse.

I guess it could always be worse.