Goodbye, hello, goodbye, hello.

On Monday afternoon, I said goodbye to my therapist of 10 years. That was fucking brutal.

Last night, I met a new therapist for the first time and tried to see if it would be a good fit.

This morning, at 9am, I have to drive Casey, my 17 year old dog, to the vet to be put down. It feels like the wrong choice. It feels like I’m killing her. And it feels like she still has some quality of life left that we’re taking from her. I know I’m wrong. I know I’m emotional about it. But that’s what it feels like.

Later this afternoon at 2:30, I’m going to meet a second new therapist. She’s expensive. And doesn’t take insurance. (Not that I have insurance anyway, but still.)

Tomorrow, we’re going to pick up Bobby (our new dog that showed up at my back door over the summer completely starving and malnourished). He’s completed his 6 week training and is ready to come home and take all of his certification tests to be a therapet and service dog.

We were supposed to get him today, but I guess plans change.

I’ll get into all of the therapy stuff soon. But for today, I just don’t have it in me.

Today sucks. There’s been too much loss. And I’m hurting.

There’s not enough Starbucks or chocolate in the world to get through this day today.