Here way are, on the 3rd day of a brand new year. A year which, according to THE DIME I got in my piece of New Years cake I got, should be my luckiest year yet.
Yes, I got the dime this year. Which according to our Greek tradition, means I’ll have good luck this year. And after the year I had in 2024…I’ll take every freaking advantage I can get.
This year has started off pretty meh so far. Nothing bad has happened (yet lol) but it’s just been a whirlwind of stress. All because of financial strain.
After both of our cars got totaled just weeks apart, (one without insurance covering it and the other my brand new 2023 Kia carnival) our financial situation just became something absolutely impossible to recover from.
My husband is really pushing to get divorced (on paper/legally only) so that our kids (and me) can get the benefits we qualify for, but are having trouble getting because of “income”. We’re a one income family with about every one of our credit cards maxed out because of the complete shit show 2024 was, and yet my husband still makes “too much” for me to get insurance, or the kids and me to get disability/social security. If we’re legally divorced, it will help get us out of this stupid fucked up hole that we’re in.
Yet, I just can’t do it. I don’t want to. It doesn’t feel safe. We’ve been talking about this for years now. And it just hurts too much to think about doing for real, even if nothing will actually change between us. But is that even true? What’s to stop him from one day leaving for real? Or deciding that since we’re already legally divorced, it would be so easy to walk away for real?
I don’t know. I keep saying no. But it would be nice to like…have insurance. Or be able to buy food without worrying if our card will get declined. Ya know. Shit like that.
I wish I could explain how the car situation fucked us up so badly. We put all of our savings, $10,000 down on my new (what I thought would be my for the next 15 years car) Kia carnival. And insurance only paid the car off, but didn’t leave us with anything to put towards a new down payment. Our monthly payment is nearly $300 higher, not to mention insurance for this particular car having higher rates in general now.
On top of that, therapy is now $200 a week instead of the $150 that it was, which is killer. (Again, insurance would be nice here!!!)
I know I’m just kind of ranting and venting here. But to drown like this with no end in sight really sucks. Some months are harder than others. And this month with Christmas and birthdays, and another birthday later this month, it just hurts worse.
I hate seeing my husband work his ass off only for us to get basically nowhere. And to be trapped by income limits because if he makes ANY more, the kids will lose their insurance. And while they qualify for Medicaid because of their genetic disorder, the waitlist is YEARS long in Texas and it would be an ugly process.
Anyway, I don’t know why this post went this direction, hah, but I guess that’s just what’s been weighting heavily on my mind.
My sister is leaving today, and that’s probably the greatest gift of all so far.
2025, please be good to us. Please don’t hurt anyone, or require any hospital stays, or any trauma or more financial burden.
Please allow my journey with a new therapist to be helpful and beneficial…and worth the financial burden it’s imposing.
Just…let us all stay healthy. If nothing else…I’ll take health over any of it.
(She says, as her husband is on his way to urgent care for a scratched cornea) 🤦🏻♀️
Insurance is effed up anymore. When I was on medical leave, my daughter got Medicaid, but we didn’t get anything. Now I have ins through my job, but it would cost $1500 a month to add Rob and Ili! So it’s self-pay (and crossing our fingers!) for them! Ugh.
The whole thing is such a joke 😡 and it shouldn’t be. It’s such a huge impact to peoples lives.
That’s where I’m at too…self pay and hope for the best 😂 it sucks but it’s so freaking true.
sorry your husband and you are in this predicament! I hope you got out of it somehow! Sending hugs!