I have been spending the last few months, if not the last few years, claiming that I’m ready to stop drinking, or at least ready to start drinking less. But…let’s just change it up here for a second. Let’s, for arguments sake, say what if I’m not ready? Can we just play the other side …
Sometimes, I simply just want to scream. That’s how I feel after leaving a stressful therapy session last night. I feel like I fucked it up, I feel like things I said were left untouched, ignored or not explored. I’m feeling frustrated and…simply like a failure. I can tell when my therapist is frustrated with …
Last night was rough for a few reasons, but honestly, maybe it’s for the best. I have therapy tonight, and sometimes, having therapy right after a bad night leads to a really productive session. If there’s nothing else that comes from a bad night, I guess some forward progress because of it isn’t a bad …
A sad sight, a hard feeling. Seeing the bottom of the glass. The end of the night…or is it? An empty glass, a last sip, the bottom of a heavy pour. But I’m still coherent. Still awake, still receptive, still aware. And that means that the bottom of the glass came too soon. See, we’re …
I finally had therapy last night after a brutal 3 week break. I was nervous and had so much anxiety going into it, but I think it went…okay? In true me fashion, I spent the first little while rambling awkwardly about my life and about my kids. There has been a lot that’s gone on …
I had a post ready to go for this morning, but then my friend Danielle over at TheDailyAddict wrote a post with me in mind. It’s called For Alana, and it made me feel a little less alone. So I’m going to share her words here this morning instead. I’m grateful for her, her blog, …
Thankful for friends in the lonely cycle of addiction Read More »
Every day I wake up with a twinge of pain, a reminder of the night before, I know I need to stop. Every day I struggle, just a little, to remember what happened the night before, I know I need to stop. When I’m pouring a drink and I feel like I’m being judged, or …
I’m feeling feelings. Most are bad, but to be honest, I’m just glad they exist. I often feel so numb. So alone, so broken. Drinking had come back to me. And for as much as I hate it, there’s a part of me that loves it. I exist in a space that serves only to …
There’s something about this time of year that can be particularly triggering. I have my own traumas and triggers surrounding this time of year, and I don’t know if it’s those things in particular that are triggering me, or if it’s just life in general…but I am having a hard time right now. My brother …
Well, for the first time in nearly a year, and since the beginning of my pregnancy 10 months ago…it happened. I’m almost out of alcohol. I stopped drinking as soon as I got pregnant, which means that all of the alcohol I had already went unused and untouched, waiting for me to return to it, …