I said tonight would be the night. The night I take those first steps (for the hundredth time). The night that I would push back that first drink of the evening. It doesn’t need to be so early. Push it a little, wait an hour, 2 if you’re feeling good. I thought I could do […]
I said tonight would be the night (again) Read More »
Feel worse, drink more. Or, is it drink more, feel worse? Could it really be better if I feel worse…but drink less? That doesn’t seem possible. Life happens, a shit day, whatever excuse you have. Drink the pain away. I’m sure that will make it better. Alcohol solves all problems. Until it creates its own.
Does drinking make life worse, or does life make drinking worse? Read More »
It didn’t happened if you drink enough to forget. It didn’t happen if you block it from your mind. It didn’t happen if you so convincingly tell yourself that it didn’t. It didn’t happen if it doesn’t seem like it even possibly could have happened. It didn’t happen if it seems like you’re making too
It didn’t happen, but it did. Read More »
I saw your face today. Of course, never in the way I’d most hope to. It’s been a while. Of all the things covid took from the world, it took your precious face from me. Pictures became masked, adventures became nonexistent, birthdays became solitary. I have missed every moment from afar. I’d have missed them
While giving my backstory is indescribably important into the telling of who I am and why…sometimes that’s exhausting. It can be exhausting and traumatic to relive, experience, and think about all of that again. I want to depart from that for just a second here, because this is very, very much also me. Many nights
When depression fucking sucks Read More »