Sometimes, things happen and line up in a way that just makes you stop and pay attention. I’ve had a few of those nights recently. Last month, driving home from therapy on 2 separate nights, I noticed how both times, I hit nearly every single green light. I live a good 20ish minutes away from …
It’s Memorial Day here in America, which means that my husband has a day off work. If ever a Monday doesn’t feel like a Monday, it’s today. My kids don’t have therapy, my husband is home, and it feels like another weekend day. I do have my therapy tonight still, which I’m glad about. It’s …
I’ve started and restarted this post a few times now already. I guess, much like my life, I can’t find the direction I want to go in. I am feeling a little bit better than I have been feeling, which overall, is a win. Hopefully I’m out of the funk that going on my trip …
Can I keep writing late at night about my truest and most honest and vulnerable feelings? Is that okay with you? It feels a little wrong, it feels a little dirty, but yet…it feels almost necessary. It’s beginning to feel like survival. Tonight is a night. The absolute worst kind of night. I feel so …
A very common theme in my life is that I’m fine as long as everyone loves me. Or at least doesn’t hate me. I know that literally not everyone will love me. But, more or less, it boils down to that. If people don’t like me, that must mean there’s a problem with me. I’ve …
Last night, my therapist insinuated (or, really, flat out said) that our relationship might be something, bordering or resembling “secure” now. Now, if you’ve been following along for a while now, you’ll know that we’ve been doing a lot of work with relationships and attachments, and trying to form secure attachments, as opposed to anxious …
Tonight, like so many nights from the past, has me sitting on my bathroom floor, alone, drinking, while my husband is asleep in bed. It’s not that late. It’s only 10ish pm at the start of this writing. (Which speaks nothing of the potential end of this writing. Because as I get ready to post …
Familiar, yet unfamiliar. And that is so important. Read More »
Last night was…something. It was a night that looked like a lot of nights my husband and I have had in the past. Where alcohol played too much of a role, and I said a lot of things that I’ve been holding in for a while. It started when I got upset with my husband. …
We went to the park again last night for therapy, even though it was threatening thunderstorms all night. I was pretty confident that it wasn’t going to rain, because it literally hasn’t rained on a therapy night it YEARS. So now it’s a thing. The squirrel left us alone for the most part, and there …
Well, in typical Monday fashion (and every day lately) my morning, once again, started way too early at 4:30am. Ugh. When your kids, who, theoretically are old enough to know better, continuously wake you up way too early in the morning (between 3 and 5am) every single day….it can be really hard to get past …