I guess the title states it all for this one. Is it actually possible to heal, to grow and possibly move on to a certain extent, if you’re unwilling or unable to actually deal with and face whatever it is?
I find myself in that position quite a bit. Things will hurt, and they’ll suck, so I avoid it at all costs. I don’t talk about it, I don’t deal with it, I just hope it goes away. But it really never goes away. It grows inside of me and becomes bigger and bigger.
The less I talk about it, the more I think about it. It’s like I spend so much time trying to spare myself from the uncomfortableness and misery of talking about the hard things and dealing with them…that it just ends up making it worse.
Is there a way around this? Are some people just not like that? Like…maybe there are people out there that can truly just ignore things and not deal with it and just be okay?
I don’t know. I am surely not that person.
I’m pretty sure I make things harder on myself by trying to make them easier. I say the same thing to my husband. By trying so hard to avoid conflict he actually creates it.
Sometimes I wish I knew the answers. I wish I knew how to feel better.
Another one of my favorite things to say is “if what you’re doing isn’t working, try something different”.
Well, what I’m doing isn’t working. So I might have to try something different. Maybe actually allowing myself to feel things and talk about them (eck) could help. It feels wrong and scary, but like I said.
What I’m doing isn’t working. Avoiding it isn’t working. Putting myself through the pain and misery of actually talking about things and feeling things seems so counterintuitive. But it’s what everyone apparently says to do.
Ugh. It feels gross even thinking about it.
I guess I have some work to do.