Today, I am taking a depression day.
And, just what, you may ask, is a depression day? Honestly, I don’t really know. But it consists of not getting out of bed, not socializing with anyone or anything, eating whatever the fuck I want, and just basically, not giving a shit.
I am beyond the comprehension of fucking exhausted. Emotionally, physically….I am tapping out.
Unless a kid is dying or the house is on fire, I’m not leaving my bed for any reason other than the 500 times I’ll have to pee throughout the day. That’s what I have a husband for, and today, I will turn a blind eye and let him do whatever he wants to do. For my own sake and my own mentality, and therefore really, the sake of my entire family, I need to do this.
Recognizing that I’m not okay, and that the most beneficial thing I can do for myself and my family is to step back…well, it’s taken a lot to get to that place. But I’m there now. And I cannot continue to give to others when I have nothing left to give.
So, today, depression wins. And today I’m claiming for me, and my mental health.
Of course, I say that, but I’ve already spent the first few hours of the day running around getting things done.
But my husband is on board, he’s getting the kids out of my hair, and at least for the next few hours, the day is mine.
I owe it to myself, and this baby I’m growing inside of me, to take it easy today. A burnt out version of me is good for no one.
The next few hours are mine, and I think I’ve earned them.
Time to eat food, drink coffee, and watch Mom. Sounds like a good day to me.