The baby is now 10 days old. To be honest, it’s probably the easiest experience with a newborn that I’ve ever had. My 5 year old was…ptsd inducing horrible as a newborn, and it was an awful experience. Of course we didn’t know he had all the health issues that we know now…but it was rough nonetheless. My 3 year old was much better, but still. This baby proves even easier.
As “easy” as he is, though…he’s still a newborn. He’s still demanding of care, and waking up at night is a part of it.
I’ve taken the kids to therapy the past few days, and have been pretty much running on my normal routine. It has not been easy to get 3 kids out the door and be in time and presentable, but I’ve done it. My husband is still home for a little bit longer, but to be honest, I got bored of being at home and I wanted to see my big kids at therapy.
Today is a gloomy, rainy day. My favorite kind of day. It’s Friday, so no therapies for anyone. My husband offered to take the big kids out, so the baby and I are hanging out at home in the peace and quite.
No schedule to keep, just a sleepy, nap filled day. For Atlas, of course.
Today I’m going to focus on resting and enjoying the day…as much as possible. The days are hard and the nights are long, and I’ll take every hour of peace and quiet I can get. It’s Halloween weekend, my kids favorite time of year, so I know the weekend will be anything but quiet.
I’ve definitely been struggling with my mental health, and trying to stay sober…which I do want to do. So today I’m just going to…be. I’m going to simply be. Without pressure or rushing or thinking…I just want to be.
I’m going to let the baby sleep for 3 hours and not worry about waking him up, or having somewhere to be. I’m going to drink coffee and eat chocolate.
And I’m going to allow myself to rest, and to feel better.
My kids deserve to best of me. Sometimes, that means taking sometime to focus on that, on resting, and on being okay.
