A day too late

Hey, I’m just checking in. I’m one of those annoying people that notices and cares when I think something might be up, so I just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you need me at all or need to talk.

Hope you’re doing okay. ❤️

That was the exact message that I sent my friend recently. We talked every day, and I could tell something was up.

The message I sent was fine…but it didn’t matter.

It was sent a day too late.

Would it have made any difference if she had read it? Is it in any way possible that she could still be alive if I wasn’t too late?

I’ve sent messages like this before, I saw it coming…this wasn’t a surprise to me. I knew what was going on. But maybe I could’ve done more. Maybe I couldn’t have changed something.

What if I wasn’t just a day too late?

I’ll never get answers, I’ll never know exactly why. And that’s just something that I have to live with now.

I’ve lost people before. I should be “used to it”.

But I’m not. And I don’t think I ever will be.

Nobody should have to be used to this kind of loss, this kind of pain.