Red flags

My body is throwing up some red flags.

At this point, I can either continue to ignore them and face the consequences that will follow, or I can slow down and listen.

My anxiety has become more physical than ever, and I feel like I’m going to explode from the inside out. I’m short, I’m edge…things don’t feel like they should. Depression is taking over and trying to convince me that I don’t belong here.

I’m no stranger to these sort of feelings. They come at the worst of times, a reminder and a threat to myself to simply just stop. To take a step back, to focus on the problem, to take care of myself.

I often don’t listen to these obvious red flags. I ignore them, I look the other way, and I hope they’ll just go away. But they never do, and I always end up paying the price.

I’ve felt this coming for a while, and I’ve neglected to do anything about it. But now we’re at the point where it’s nearly too late.

I am not feeling good. My body and my mind are now showing me that I’ve pushed it too far, and I need to do something different.

The dark demons are creeping in, convincing me to isolate and withdraw. Telling me to drink the feelings away, to run and hide.

I know I need to do better. But when I feel this way, when I feel too far gone, too alone, to broken…I just don’t know how.

I feel worthless and hopeless. These are my red flags. They’ve been up for a while. I’ve been starting to feel this way again for a little while now.

I need to do something different…but I don’t know what that is.