Regrets

Every day I wake up with a twinge of pain, a reminder of the night before, I know I need to stop.

Every day I struggle, just a little, to remember what happened the night before, I know I need to stop.

When I’m pouring a drink and I feel like I’m being judged, or maybe I’m just judging myself…I know I need to stop.

When I feel like it’s getting out of hand and I want to stop…but I just can’t seem to? I know I need to stop.

I’m getting to a point where I’m no longer comfortable with this. It’s gotten bigger than I can handle, faster than I expected.

I feel like I don’t have any control over this anymore. It feels familiar. It feels like my past.

Pouring a drink when I don’t even really want one. Except I do want one. I need one.

I’m admitting that I need help with this now. I’m admitting that I’m starting to get in over my head, and I don’t want to keep going down this path.

I just don’t know if I can start to feel okay again. I hate feeling this level of bad about myself.

What a bad day not to have therapy.

But I can still try to do better tonight.

7 thoughts on “Regrets”

  1. I hope you can get the help you need. You’re open to it now, giving it a bigger chance of success! Know you’re not alone in this fight! Reach out if you need to, even if to vent, I can handle it 🤗

  2. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain from becoming aware of the situation and what needs to change. Acceptance is the first step. There is no rush. Take care 🙂 💜

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