Maybe I do deserve good things

This has been a strange week. Some might even call it a good week.

I just dropped my son off for his third day of school. Today was a little bit harder, and he cried when I dropped him off. He said he missed me and didn’t want to go. So I told him every time he feels his heart beating, it’s like me giving him a hug.

Yesterday, his class went of a field trip to the zoo. It was a lot of walking, and I was concerned he wouldn’t be able to do it. Since he has a neuromuscular disorder, things like walking and standing are hard on him. I was right, he didn’t make it, and his teachers ended up pulling him in the wagon holding everyone’s lunches.

I was glad I prepped the teachers on his condition, because the told me the night before that he could use the wagon if he needed it. So now we’re looking into getting him a second wheelchair for school use. He has a power wheelchair now, but it’s too big to be used at his school.

Anyway, here’s the good part.

A few weeks ago, a company called Funding Love had their application period open up for birth moms (moms who have placed a child for adoption) to win a trip to Disney World. You have to either apply or be nominated. So, I applied, and my husband nominated me just for the hell of it. I mean, nearly 200 people applied, and they only take about 10. So obviously it’s a long shot.

But 2 nights ago, I got an email saying that I made it to the final round of selection, and she wanted to schedule a time to talk the next night.

So last night, she called me and we talked on the phone, and she said that really, there wasn’t a final round, and that actually…I was selected.

So….

I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!

Me and probably 10-15ish other birth moms are going on an exclusive, all expenses paid trip to Disney. I can not believe they chose me.

Why me? What’s special about me, or my story? Surely there are others more deserving of it, right?

I feel so…I don’t know, honored? Guilty? Undeserving? I feel like I took a spot from someone else, maybe someone who is better than me.

But I’m also so excited. And it feels really good.

I have a hard time being happy when good things happen. But maybe I don’t have to feel guilty. Maybe I can just…enjoy it.

Maybe I do deserve it.