Anxiety knows anxiety

I’m typical my family fashion, someone in my household had an issue with anxiety yesterday. That’s like…a daily, common occurrence. (Spoiler alert, it’s usually me. I’m usually the anxious one.)

But yesterday, my 6 year old started getting upset about something, and he was escalating to a point where there was no way he was going to calm down. It was just getting worse and worse, and usually, these situations don’t end well (for me).

I recognized the situation and what was happening, so I picked him up and removed him from the situation and took him outside. I told him that we’re not going back inside until we can calm down.

And he wasn’t having it. He was still pretty angry.

Then, I did what I do when my anxiety is getting pretty up there.

I did that thing with the senses. You know, 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear…etc.

So I started doing it. I named 5 things I could see. At that point he was sort of calming down? But not really. I asked him if he wanted to name 5 things he could see, but he didn’t.

Then, I started naming 4 things I could hear. I said I think I heard a lawnmower, but I needed him to quiet down so I could be sure. He did quiet down, and said it wasn’t a lawnmower, it was the motor for the pool in the pool shed!

But at that point he was calmer and more engaged. And we kept listening for more sounds.

At that point he was calm and still and no longer trying to hit me or get away, and we were able to have a conversation and make a plan for what would happen when we went back inside.

Usually, these situations end with him escalating to an unreasonable point and becoming inconsolable, and I usually end up getting hit or attacked or whatever while I sit there calmly just taking it, waiting for the storm to be over.

I was really glad that that worked yesterday. I don’t know if it will work in the future, but yesterday I recognized his anxiety, and I did what sometimes works with me on him.

As for today, and how I’m feeling?

I’m struggling.

It’s April 2nd. And I am really, really feeling it. My birth sons birthday is in 2 days. And I woke up feeling just a little bit more dead inside.

I’ll get through it. It will be fine.

I just have to get through it.

4 thoughts on “Anxiety knows anxiety”

  1. I had some major anxiety issues after I found out that I need surgery in a week. On Thursday, my yoga and teacher and I had a long conversation (everyone else had already left after class), where she got in my face and was very firm about my need to realize what is real and what isn’t. It helped a lot. ❤️

    You did an amazing job with your son! We teach what we know! ❤️ He is lucky to have you for a mother.

    1. That’s a hard thing to deal with, I’ve definitely been there with surgeries before. I’m glad your yoga teacher was able to help with some of that.

      We definitely teach what we know. A lot of what I *know* is trauma. And breaking that cycle is really hard. But I’m glad I was able to hopefully give him a new tool that he can use in the future.

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