Being positive when things are hard

Well, this morning got off to an early start, once again. My 4 year old didn’t wake up at 3am…he woke up at 2am. And then proceeded to wake up my 6 year old…..and yeah. I was not a happy person.

The baby also had a horrible night, and basically didn’t want to sleep after 3am. I think he’s going through his 6 month sleep regression, since tomorrow, he’ll be 6 months old!

So I am 100% exhausted, my brain is not functioning properly, and I’m a bit short on patience today.

Later this morning, I have a meeting up at my sons school with his teachers and the principal. They requested the meeting, and I know it has to do with his neuromuscular disorder…but I’m just a little nervous about it.

Then tonight, I have therapy. I…didn’t exactly meet my drinking goal?

Ok, so what happened was…I tried to drink less…but then I ended up drinking more instead.

I know, I know. It doesn’t exactly make sense….but yeah.

So, we’ll talk about that tonight. And we’ll keep working on the things we’ve been working on.

I don’t get home from therapy until after 8pm, at which point I know I’ll be completely exhausted. I always drink less on the nights I have therapy, so I’m confident that tonight will go well.

Even thought I had such a bad night, and probably only got 5 hours of sleep (or less), I still tried to have a good(ish) attitude this morning.

I made some coffee, told my husband proudly that “I don’t need sleep. Look how awesome I am. See? Phoenix gets it. He doesn’t need sleep either.” (Yes, sarcasm is how I survive.)

Then I saw a few pictures of my birth son, where he was looking very grumpy. His dad was with him smiling big and giving him a kiss on the head. I saw the pictures before I read the caption, and was confused why he looked so grumpy.

The caption said “Forcing your son to learn to ride a bike when he doesn’t want to.” And then it made sense, and it was hilarious. I should my husband and laughed and said “he’d fit in great here”.

It’s the little moments like that, where I get a glimpse of his personality that I love. Those pictures and that caption made my morning a lot better. It was one of those moments where it’s like….yeah. That’s my son. That’s me. 100%.

Things are hard. This is a really, really hard season of life right now. But fighting it isn’t working. Saying how miserable I am isn’t helping.

So I’m just going with it.

Yeah. Things are hard. That’s life.

We’ll get through it.