My best friend saved my life last night.
I’m sure that sounds dramatic. I’m sure that sounds extra. But I assure you, it’s really not.
I wasn’t in danger from myself. I’m doing just fine. My emotions and my…all of that…is truly doing just fine.
But at some point last night…I started to feel unsafe. With my husband being away, I realized how truly vulnerable I was.
I was physically alone.
And a situation arose where I felt extremely unsafe.
I realized that I was alone in the house with someone who was visiting my parents, and has made me feel unsafe in this way in the past. And I immediately realized the position I was about to be in.
Let’s fast forward through all the bullshit.
I texted my best friend because I was kind of panicking, and just needed someone to talk to. I didn’t expect her to respond, but I just needed to talk.
She called me immediately. (Neither of us enjoy talking on the phone. Helllooooo anxiety.)
She called me about one second before it turns out that I desperately needed her to.
And being on the phone?
Actually being on the phone with her?
….turns out, it meant everything. It saved me. Literally.
Because she was the excuse for why this person couldn’t stay in my room…because I was on the phone.
Fast forward to however much longer later.
She refused to get off the phone with me until I was safe.
But we both had to pee.
So I put my phone (still connected) on the bed, and went to the bathroom.
At that moment, I was unsafe again. Literally the exact moment that I made it back to my bed and my phone.
Not by my own doing.
By someone else’s.
I was unsafe. I wasn’t alone in my room anymore.
But my best friend was still there.
She heard. She was still on the phone, which was on my bed.
I felt so bad.
I felt disgusted and ashamed. And I’m so sorry she was still there.
But she was there. And she heard everything.
And we talked for hours after that.
On the phone. Until she was sure I was safe.
My best friend saved my life last night. She was there when I couldn’t even tell her how or why I needed her.
I sent her a text and told her I felt unsafe. And she called me basically immediately.
And if she hadn’t?
Literally, I’m not just saying this…if she hadn’t called me immediately when I casually voiced concern and that I felt unsafe?
This would be a very different post today. Because this person wouldn’t have left that first time.
And even though they came back a second time later that night….and she heard everything that went on…I was able to calm down and be okay with her just being there for be afterwards.
My best friend saved my fucking life last night. She saved me from the endless amount of trauma, and me subsequently spiraling.
All because she called me about 30 seconds before it turns out I desperately needed her to.
Won’t therapy be fun tonight?