Any time I wake up, and my day doesn’t IMMEDIATELY start with coffee…it’s not a good thing.
The kids woke us up at 5 this morning…which, yes, is better than 4am…but then my husband had (yet another) horrible migraine. So even though I was ready to get up and start my day at 5…he was not. He wanted to lay down and die until 6:30 when we officially “start” our day with the kids. Which meant that I didn’t get coffee during my designated coffee hour (6-6:30am).
I have to be out the door at 7:15 to drop my son off at school, and get 3 kids ready by then. So time is precious in the morning.
But here’s the thing.
I get an awful, awful headache if I don’t drink coffee in the morning. And I am also not very pleasant to be around. Yes, I know. It’s a problem.
So I was almost a little bit of a jerk this morning and I said “nope, you can get the kids. I have to take Atlas to the doctor this morning and won’t be home till 10. So I’m going to drink coffee so I don’t suffer all day”. And that’s what I did.
It’s rare when I prioritize my own self care. And for me, having those few minutes to myself in the morning to prepare for the day ahead is so, so important. It sets the tone for my entire day, and I just really suffer otherwise.
This morning, I gave myself 15 minutes of self care. And that’s probably the only 15 minutes I’ll get all day. I did feel guilty about it. But honestly, I’m quite sure my family would’ve preferred me to go away for 15 minutes to drink coffee than to be a grumpy asshole for the next however long.
So, this is your friendly Thursday reminder that sometimes you’re a better person when you allow yourself to take a minute. To have those moments of self care.
It’s nothing to feel guilty about, especially if it’s that one thing that keeps you going.
I may only have a half a cup in me, but it sure is better than nothing.
Now I’m sitting in my car, waiting for Atlas’s appointment time at the doctor. He hasn’t really gained any weight, so I’m nervous. But I can’t control it. And it is what it is. I also have an appointment with a new therapist for Christian later…..and I’m nervous about that. I liked the other one a lot, but I just couldn’t afford the $120 a week anymore. And this one takes insurance! But I am nervous about it. Again, it’s out of my control.
I think that’s the theme today…it is what it is.
At least I had my 15 minutes.