You’d think by now I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t give a shit about my parents, how they treat me, what they say. But here we are, in yet another fucked up situation. My mom gets mad, starts screaming at me. That’s typical. It happens every weekend. Today she’s angrier than usual, more volatile, more hostile. […]
Why Doesn’t It Ever Stop? Read More »
Usually I love bad weather days. There’s an undeniable romance about the weather matching your mood. This morning everything just feels foggy. The air, my lungs, I can’t see very far. It’s hard to breathe, hard to focus, hard to even want to. My future feels too distant. Who am I kidding, tomorrow feels too
Year 27. A year I’d never thought I’d make it to. To be honest, I’m surprised every year when I turn a year older. It just always feels like an accomplishment, like I survived once again despite the odds being stacked against me. Year 26 was brutal. Most of it life circumstances, some of it
Today begins a new journey that I’m not sure I’m ready for, not sure I ever will be ready for. By now, I’m sure you’ve learned a few things about me. I have a significant amount of trauma and unresolved pain in my life. My childhood wasn’t a walk in the park, I’ve been in
Today begins a New Journey Read More »
I’m upset this morning and I don’t know why. Tears are close to flowing, a rarity for me. There is no reason to be upset. It was a good morning. My husband even woke up a half hour earlier than usual so our morning coffee time together could be longer before we get the kids.
Misery in mornings Read More »
He took the boys out this morning. I should be grateful, and I am. Finally, a moment of peace for the first time this week. A chance to catch my breath and just breathe, exist in the stillness. But it doesn’t feel good. It feels lonely. It feels isolating. These quiet moments are exactly what
