This week has been a massive variation of highs and lows, and I can honestly say I’m just so glad that it’s finally Saturday. And that I can’t wait for therapy on Tuesday. Overall, I’m feeling pretty okay this morning. I have the entire house to myself for a least a good few hours, and […]
I will always show up for them Read More »
While nightmares have always been a hugely unfortunate part of my sleeping journey, sometimes they are worse and more frequent than others. Lately, the nightmares have been consuming a large part of my mental space. And last night, they were worse than ever. In a good dreamed turned awful, my birth son was there. He
The nightmares of trauma Read More »
Dear son, Today, you’ll finally get the gift I sent you in the mail for Christmas. Despite my own timeliness, USPS had other prerogatives, and your “guaranteed” Christmas Eve arrival is only just getting to you today…on the 30th. I’m truly so sorry about the delay, I hoped to have it there as promised…by Christmas.
Well, I did it. I finished the, at this point infamous and tedious gift, of 6 painstakingly handmade crocheted gifts for my birth son, got it off in the mail, and it’s set to arrive tomorrow…just in time for Christmas. I also wanted to include a picture of us holding all the items, so we
The burden is lifted Read More »
Yesterday was much the epic crash and burn that I anticipated it would be. If you read my post from last night, yesterday just…was one of those bad day bad days. And it was absolutely exhausting both physically and mentally. It ended much in the same fashion, I crashed and burned, wanted to go to
Not at the finish line yet Read More »
Do you ever have a day so bad that you just know it isn’t going to get better? Not because you’re being negative or in a bad mindset, just because…it is what it is. But it’s bad anyway, so you figure…might as well do everything unpleasant right now and double down on it because it’s
For a Friday, this morning did not start off feeling like it had any kind of Friday vibes. Actually, this morning started out with a whole lotta bullshit. My sister, aka the actual devil, aka the one who horrifically abused me my entire life growing up, is coming to “visit” today for the next 3
Yesterday started with the most abrupt of wake up calls at 5am when a nurse turned on the bright lights while my son and I were dead asleep. My two older sons had a sleep study in Dallas on Tuesday night, 2 hours away from our house. We left at 4pm to get there by
Two important things Read More »
I’m sitting here in Provo airport waiting to board my flight home. It’s only 12pm now, but I have about 6 hours of travel ahead of me, and a time change, so I’m not looking to be home before 7pm. I’m exhausted and emotionally depleted, but in the best way possible I think. I have
Utah has been amazing so far. It’s been everything that I needed, and pushing myself to come here was the right choice. If you don’t know, on Thursday morning, I flew into Salt Lake City for a birth mom retreat. It’s the first one I’ve been to with this organization, and I can honestly say
