I’m still struggling to find my footing in this new reality I find myself in. Ya know, the one where I lost arguably my biggest and most consistent support system out of literally nowhere and completely all of a sudden. It’s been really challenging thinking about the next. The forward. I very much feel stuck […]
It isn’t perfect, but it’s something Read More »
A few weeks ago, I shared the story of Bobby, an abandoned/dumped dog in absolutely horrible shape that found his way to my back door. I’ll link that here in case you missed it and want to catch up. When I wrote that, he’d only been around for just a few days, and his future
The story of Bobby part 2 Read More »
I will admit, there is little in life that is less jarring than unexpectedly seeing your child plastered on social media. My birth son, my oldest of all 4 of my boys and the only one I don’t parent, is 10 years old. He was placed for adoption at birth because, well, life really sucks
A gift and a curse Read More »
Freedom is…well, it’s just that. It’s…the sense of being free. Literally defined as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” I don’t feel like I’m in a state of being free. I don’t feel as if I have the right to act, speak or think as
When I woke up this morning, I was expecting it to be a normal day. A normal Sunday. And for the most part…it was. Except for the parts that weren’t. One of my first thoughts upon awakening was “oh shit, it’s Father’s Day”. We woke up later than normal, 6:24am rather than 6:00am. That meant
The wounds of trauma Read More »
You all know this weekend, at least here in America, is Mother’s Day. But what you very likely didn’t know, is that today, the Saturday before Mother’s Day, is known as Birth Mother’s Day. It’s a day specifically for birth moms, those that have placed a child for adoption. Every adoption and adoption journey looks
Heard, acknowledged, and not forgotten about. Read More »
Dear son, Today, you turned 10 years old. Despite the fact that absolutely nothing about today went right, I still did what I always do on April 4th each year. Listened to my songs that remind me of you. Thought of you ALL day long. Carried you with me, and honored you in every way
He’s 10, and the grief doesn’t end. Read More »
I’ve been struggling recently with the word “fair”. My life certainly isn’t fair. It sucks. It’s hard. And I hate it. My kids are suffering, my family is heavily impacted, and it’s been brutal. I got 1 hour and 27 minutes of sleep last night. Why? Well, as you may or may not know, my
What is “fair”, does that even exist? Read More »
The worst part about a Tuesday morning is how far away the next Monday night is. That’s what I’m thinking about at just after 6am this morning while laying in a hospital room for the 7th day in a row, while my son sleeps a few feet away. Last night felt almost normal. Almost. I
One foot in front of the other Read More »
March 31st. The last day before April. Better known as my husbands birthday. I woke up today wanting to die slightly more than usual. Which, for this time of year, is a whole freaking lot. I woke up alone, in a hospital room, on a hard, lumpy pull out bed, where my son slept 4
