Trauma. Therapy. Emdr. Healing. Trust. These are all words used with great frequency in my life. All things I’m working on and living with. If you’ve been here for a while, like….years…you’ll know that I’ve tried, and failed epically, using emdr to heal from trauma. A lot of trauma. If you don’t know, emdr is […]
Sometimes, things happen and line up in a way that just makes you stop and pay attention. I’ve had a few of those nights recently. Last month, driving home from therapy on 2 separate nights, I noticed how both times, I hit nearly every single green light. I live a good 20ish minutes away from
Okay, guys. Real talk for a minute here. I don’t fucking understand CBT. Like, I straight up, just do not get it. It frustrates me, it feels like something I already do naturally and on my on a continuous, daily basis, and I don’t see how it could ever help me and my very large,
Let’s talk about CBT. No, really. Read More »
Last night in therapy we were trying to get more into EMDR and I guess do all the state change things. Apparently that should only take like 20 minutes to get through, but I guess it took me over and hour. And I still fucked it up. I’m more than a little bit frustrated with
Apparently I still suck at EMDR Read More »
I’ve always been a writer. Even going as far back as elementary school, I’ve always gravitated towards writing to communicate my feelings. I had…a rather intense childhood, and it’s not something I like to think about or relive. Since we’re going to be starting EMDR in therapy soon…I’m kind of going to be forced to
Reconnecting with my past Read More »
When I went to therapy on Friday it was definitely….productive. Even though it was only an hour (as opposed to 2 hours which they often are), we got a little bit done. A few months ago, we tried doing EMDR to get through some of my trauma and to help with drinking less and all
Another attempt at EMDR Read More »
Oh, therapy. What else can I say about it. In typical 1 hour session fashion (as opposed to 2), anxiety very quickly took over and I successfully managed to talk about nothing that really mattered for the majority of it. It’s frustrating, but I also didn’t want to open up certain cans of worms with
Fixing my brain: starting with attachment Read More »
My therapist rarely asks me to do anything outside of session, but when she does, it usually involves writing. Yesterday during my session, we were talking about EMDR and how when we tried it a few weeks ago, my brain fought it so hard that we pretty much got nowhere. We haven’t tried it again
“Why do you go to therapy?” Read More »
I am not a person that likes to feel things, show emotion, let my guard down…any of that good stuff. Admittedly, it hasn’t proven to be the best method, but I’m working with what I’ve got. My life experiences have left me pretty hardened and cynical, but that doesn’t always serve me. For example, as
Vulnerability in therapy Read More »
Year 27. A year I’d never thought I’d make it to. To be honest, I’m surprised every year when I turn a year older. It just always feels like an accomplishment, like I survived once again despite the odds being stacked against me. Year 26 was brutal. Most of it life circumstances, some of it
