grief

When genetics make adoption even more complicated

Recently, I’ve talked a bit about this pregnancy, and the genetic disorder I share with my 2 sons, and potentially this baby as well. What I haven’t talked about yet, is my 8 year old. My birth son. Each child I have, I learned, has a 50/50 chance of inheriting this brutal disease. We know …

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Unpacking this emotional fuckery

So…something kind of…crazy happened the other day. First of all, yes, I’m alive. I survived. The hard part isn’t over, not by a long shot…but one day at a time…right? Secondly…holy shit. Like, actually, holy fucking shit. On Monday, my sons birthday…I struggled. Of course. I sent the text, the “happy birthday, please give my …

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From the journal of a girl who is about to lose her son…

April 3rd, 2014“I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. This long without cutting, drinking, smoking…I can’t believe it’s all almost over. I had a doctor appointment the other day and I’m going to be induced tonight on the 3rd, and hopefully deliver on the 4th. That was my actual due date. I should’ve called …

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