Oh, Sunday night. Here we are again. Another week, another anxious feeling. Monday looming in the not so distant future. This week will be a tough one, I won’t lie. Everyone home, a holiday week, an alternate schedule. The need to write is urgent and immediate…like, if I don’t get it out, I won’t feel …
When the anxiety is so palpable, you can hear nothing but your own heartbeat inside of your ears. Your chest feels like it’ll very likely explode with the next way too strong beat. You don’t want to drink more. You know that won’t help! But it does……..until it doesn’t. Until you take it too far. …
My husband and I are FAR from perfect. Just the other night, for instance, we got into a rather huge (or so it felt to me) …not argument…just more of an …uncomfortable experience…..where we were both uncomfortable talking about the health and future of our 12 month old son. I met my husband almost 9 …
Well, for the night I had last night, I woke up in a surprisingly good mood. Like, it’s actually kind of shocking, and I’m super confused by it, but….a win is a win? Yesterday was a little bit hard, but it ended with therapy, which went really well. It was mostly just me talking for …
Sometimes, life gets rough. And it gets you down. And it can be incredibly hard to keep going and keep fighting when it seems like everything that happens, ends poorly. That’s how it’s felt for me lately. Everything is hard. Everything I do is wrong. These things just keep happening. Truly horrible things. My newly …
Finding the wins, even when they’re hard to find. Read More »
You know those nights that you can just…..predict where they’re going to go? Somewhere around 5pm today, that happened. I knew exactly where this night was going to go, and I asked my husband to help prevent that. Earlier in the day, he got frustrated with me. Me, already being sensitive, thought “oh great, he’s …
Monday is here as scheduled, and once again, it promises to be a long one. Early this morning, Atlas has his first appointment with a new kind of therapy. It’s called Vital Stim, and basically, it’s where they put electrodes on his neck to assist him with swallowing, and to hopefully help him strengthen those …
Today was a bad day. Straight up, point blank. A bad day. It did not go the way I hoped it would, in fact, this entire week has not gone the way I thought it would. My husband and I got into an argument again, mostly because of communication (and his extreme lack there of), …
When you don’t handle conflict the same way, anxiety, and some self hatred. Read More »
Today, all I want to happen is to allow myself to have a break, some down time, or maybe even an actual day off. Countless times, I have told my husband that “I wish I could just have the time to be properly depressed, lay in bed and do nothing for a while”. It’s been …
How many times do you go to write a post, give it a title, start writing it, think of a better, more accurate title, delete what you’ve written, and start over? Usually it happens when I start writing with a filter. And it feels so fucking fake, I can’t stand it. And want to be …