panic

Even on vacation I can’t escape the flashbacks

I’ve been doing a pretty good job keeping the struggles of my reality out of my Disney vacation. I’ve managed to keep the real world distant from the (relative) safety and peace of Disney World. It’s something I’ve needed…a few days to just completely detach from my life. Up until last night, I’d been able …

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Hello, nightmares

It’s been a while since you’ve waken me this abruptly, with images so vivid I question their reality. It’s been a few days since I’ve sat awake at 2am lonely and afraid to close my eyes again. Usually I dull you, nightmares. Usually I drink you into silence. I suppose I fell asleep too early …

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He assaulted me again, and tonight I am not unclear.

I thought it would be okay. It thought it wouldn’t happen again. But it did, and it happened worse. He touched me, he kissed me, he assaulted me. He put his hands on me. Under my clothes…inside me. These are not unclear circumstances, and I am not okay. If I was unclear before, if I …

He assaulted me again, and tonight I am not unclear. Read More »

Dear nightmares

Dear nightmares, What will you bring tonight? What version of the world will you choose to inscribe within my mind? Do you have me screaming out in horror? Do you have me attacking the innocents sleeping soundly next to me? Why? Why me? How many more nights does my husband have to put up with …

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