Lately, therapy has been basically exactly what I’ve needed it to be…even when I don’t know what it is that I really need. My life is intense. And getting…more intense. At one point, I just said something along the lines of “I need more help. Or support. Or a long break from all of this”. …
You can only suppress your feelings for so long. Read More »
Yesterday, I gave myself the seemingly very impossible task of completing the 60 pages of paperwork that was sent to me by the NIH to complete. Well, I did it. I buckled down and focused, and I did all 60 pages of it. I kicked my husband and kids out so I could focus, and …
Did you know that the maximum volume of a 2023 Kia Carnival is only 45? And did you know, that in the throws of pretty extreme emotional distress, 45 is not nearly loud enough? Now, I’ve had some tough drives home from therapy. Drives when the music just HAS to be louder than the thoughts …
Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where there are truly just no right answers. Sure, there may be a slightly less wrong one? But really, given the choices, you wish you just didn’t have to choose at all. Because no matter what you do, you’ll feel like it was the wrong choice. (At the …
I have anxiety, but I don’t know where to put it. So it just sits there. Festering and growing. My body feels restless, my heart is about to pound out of my chest, and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. I know what the problem is. Or, rather, problems. There’s no shortage …
The holidays are hard. Well, for some of us, anyway. For me, they’re quite hard. Thanksgiving is associated with a lot of trauma for me. It was the beginning of what would become…another version of hell for me. Growing up the way I did, in a household full of abuse and fear and trauma…I craved …
Sometimes, therapy just….is what it is. I knew last night would be hard. I knew I’d have to talk about the things that hurt the most. And that’s exactly what happened. As soon as I got there, she basically said “let’s color today, it seems like a good day for coloring”. I totally didn’t disagree. …
If you’ve been hanging around here for a while, you’re probably quite familiar with therapy Mondays. But. Have you ever heard of …. Therapy Sunday?!?! That’s right! This weekend also consisted of surprise therapy! Granted, not with my therapist, but my kids. She wanted to meet with me and my husband without the kids, and …
When the anxiety is so palpable, you can hear nothing but your own heartbeat inside of your ears. Your chest feels like it’ll very likely explode with the next way too strong beat. You don’t want to drink more. You know that won’t help! But it does……..until it doesn’t. Until you take it too far. …
I can convince myself all day long that I have my alcohol usage under control. I can convince myself, I can convince you…it’s a skill I’ve pretty much mastered at this point. More days than not this past week, I’ve woken up and wondered to myself if maybe I should, once again, *attempt* sobriety. Aside …