vulnerability

Desperation? Or beauty in the pain?

Do you ever feel just so completely desperate? Desperate to feel better, to feel differently…to feel anything? That’s how I feel right now. Just…so, so desperate. My feelings are not cooperating with me. I’m existing in a space that feels quite difficult to occupy. My mind and my body don’t want to exist, while my …

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Accepting that I cannot control this.

The first(?) step towards breaking down this brick wall that I’ve built around myself is to just admit that I cannot control this. I have no control over my addictions, over alcohol…I just can’t control it. That’s the focus in therapy right now. Just simply coming to terms with the fact that this is not …

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Change can be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t always mean bad

While a lot of things have changed in the nearly 7 years that I’ve been with my therapist…one thing has remained the same. The couch. We’ve moved offices, moved buildings, changed practices…decor changes and new artwork…but it’s always been the same couch. Until today. Last week, she told me (and thank you for the heads …

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Anxiety on top of anxiety

Tonight, I have therapy. A usually much welcomed and needed part to my week, suddenly is causing something much stronger than anxiety within me. When I last went on Friday…things did not end well. Much the opposite of my intentions, things went wrong, and it ended on a really hurtful note which made me feel …

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