A familiar type of night. Diving head first into a potentially unsafe and damaging situation. There’s no way out, no way around it.
I see no way towards safety, but this night will come to a conclusion. I will know for sure either way; a betrayal in the worst way, a repeated offense. Or, at best, I’ll always be left on edge…waiting for it to happen again.
I wish I could run away from it, but instead I’m forced right into the eye of the storm.
Normally, in situations like this, I’d drink myself into oblivion and avoid the pain at all possible costs. But tonight, I need my memories. I need my mind sharp and aware.
I need to trust myself when I wake up, there isn’t room for self doubt.
Really, I should already be sure. I honestly I think I am, I already know. I know where this is headed, he already told me.
But the price of being sure, the price of what that would actually mean…it’s more than I know what to do with.
I’ve you’ve ever been paralyzed with fear, then you know what this is like.