It’s usually at night, once the alcohol starts reclaiming its all to familiar home within my body, that my brain allows itself to wander. To feel, just for a moment. “Tell someone”. My head is screaming at me to tell someone. Tell my husband. Tell my friends. Tell literally anyone. Sometimes I think one drink …
Sometimes something happens, and it leaves you feeling helpless, or scared, or however you’re feeling. For me, sometimes it feels like the world is just way too big. Like I don’t know what to do next, or there is just too much to do, or too many stressors. I don’t know how to explain it …
It’s been a while since you’ve waken me this abruptly, with images so vivid I question their reality. It’s been a few days since I’ve sat awake at 2am lonely and afraid to close my eyes again. Usually I dull you, nightmares. Usually I drink you into silence. I suppose I fell asleep too early …