Make it better

Today did not start out good. Actually, it started okay…but went very wrong within the first 10 minutes of being awake.

For once, my mood matches the weather instead of being the complete opposite. Usually nothing makes me happier than a rainy day. Especially a rainy Saturday. But today, I just feel like shit.

I got upset with my husband for what I can only imagine is probably not a big deal. I’m still upset even though in all reality, I should probably just get the fuck over it.

So now I’m wasting my morning being upset because I had to run outside in the rain to close the windows on the chicken coop, and because my husband said one offensive thing to me that he didn’t even mean it the way he said it. Or, the way I took it.

It’s only 8:20am. I still have the whole day ahead of me. I don’t want to waste it or ruin it…but this is a hard feeling to overcome when I’d much rather hold onto resentment.

I have no reason to spend my day upset other than that’s just what’s currently happening.

I’m just feeling so off. I didn’t have therapy yesterday, the week has felt so long, and I guess I’m just over it. I’m exhausted

I’m more exhausted than I know what to do with, and that makes fighting for happiness seem too impossible to attempt. I think I’ll feel better once everyone goes out and I’ll have the house to myself for a few hours.

Maybe all I need is a good recharge…some good down time to myself after the chaos of the week.

I’m going to try to make today better, because I think it can. I’m going to try to make my mood match the weather. And as we all know, I love a good rainy day.