For people who suck at Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day. A relatively useless day in general, but even more so when your wedding anniversary is less than 1 week later.

Tonight my husband and I will do nothing more special than DoorDashing our favorite local Sushi place. I think it’s somewhat of a tradition we started years ago when we went there for our anniversary. Or maybe it was Valentine’s Day. Who can keep up.

I had a gift for him tonight….but I decided to wait until the 20th. Our 6 year anniversary.

I don’t know if it’s that the impact will be stronger next week, the fact that neither one of us care too much about today, or the fact that I’m procrastinating….but either way…

Despite the fact that Valentine’s Day means very little to us now due to the fact that our wedding anniversary is 6 days later, I’ve never loved Valentine’s Day, as I’m sure many people relate to.

I’ve always been in a long term relationship. I’ve been with 3 people, including my husband. And both other people I’ve been with have lasted for over 3 years. So I didn’t dislike it because I was single and lonely…I dislike the pressures that it assumes for everyone.

I don’t like days that single people out. That have such a strong reminder of pain, or even possibly failure.

I know what it’s like to constantly be reminded of a painful thing. For something to seemingly be rubbed in your face. “This is what the world is doing. We’re different than you. We’re better than you. You can’t have this today.”

Valentine’s Day. Where did it even come from? We don’t even have a solid origin story. Just a few different ones here and there. We know there was a still unsolved massacre on this day all these years ago, but what else? Why the power? Why the ability to hurt and cause pain and exist on such a massive level?

I’m not sure why I’m feeling…bitter? This year. I’m not. I love love. I think it’s literally the most important thing that we have, and that we can offer another. Love is something that should be celebrated and should shined upon.

But it’s the feeling that this day is made for certain people.
Only those in the elite club of the coupled may celebrate this day.
It can make the most vulnerable, the most hurt, and the most lonely among us really start to believe that. That there’s a day they can’t partake in. A day for others, who have what they might want so desperately.

If you suck at this day because you’re hurting, if you suck at it because you don’t know how to live up to the pressure, if you suck at it because you think it’s kind of a pointless day…

Whatever you’re feeling, whatever this day means for you…don’t let it get too big. It’s not a big enough day to make you feel unworthy. Or unloved, or unlovable, or anything like that. This isn’t a day that should cause you pain. I hope it doesn’t.

I don’t hate you, Valentine’s Day. But I sure don’t like anything that leaves holes in the hearts of people who don’t deserve them to be there.

Don’t feel less whole today. Please don’t feel less than.

I promise, you’re not.

If you suck at today, that’s okay. Don’t let one day hold too much power over you. Whether that’s today, or any other significant day.
It doesn’t have to hold the power over you that it once did.

You’re worthy, and you are lovable.
I promise.

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