I’m just here to say that while it usually takes me 5-6 days to go through a large bottle of 94 proof, very strong liquor…
It’s now been 6 days since I’ve had any drink of any kind.
You might get sick of me saying it, but shit. That’s a big deal for me. And it isn’t something I take lightly.
It’s been over 3 years since I’ve been able to go more than a 24 hours without a drink. At my worst? I wasn’t able to go more than 3 hours. That’s right, I was going into withdrawals after 3 hours without a drink.
That’s a rough life…and it’s not one that I want to go back to.
I’ve been…trying? Wanting? Half ass attempting? To get sober for a long time now. But I know I wasn’t going to…unless I had to. When my husband and I were first discussing trying to get pregnant, that was a huge part of our discussion. I knew I could do it, as I’d already done this exact thing 3 times previously.
I knew I wouldn’t get sober until I had to. And once I had to? There was no hesitation. I just did it. I’ve been sober for as long as I’ve known that I’m pregnant. As soon as those lines showed up at just over 3 weeks.
It’s been 6 days. The bottle is still full. Normally, it would only take 5 days for that same bottle to be dry.
But not today. Not this week.
I feel like shit, and still have a strong desire to drink. But I can’t.
And I won’t. I’m grateful to be in this place that I’m in right now.
Because as hard and painful and difficult as my life is right now…..it would probably be harder if I had my crutch of alcohol to lean on and abuse.
It’s a difficulty I’m grateful for….
Even if it fucking sucks right now.
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Originally written a few weeks ago, in mid February
I currently have 19 days under my belt.
It’s huge that you’re doing this.
Thank you 💙
It’s been so hard, but it feels good to be here..even when it doesn’t.
19 days is amazing! That’s definitely not easy, especially with a bottle lingering nearby. I myself haven’t touched a single drop for more than half a year (not counting, actually). Wasn’t an alcoholic per se, but I often polished off a six-pack at least four nights a week. It doesn’t serve me anymore, which was why I stopped.
Wishing you a great journey ahead! Think of all the fresh morning and days you can now enjoy without the burden of alcohol. That thought alone does help me get over any pangs that appear.
Congrats on your journey as well! It doesn’t matter how much you drink, it matters how you feel about it, and it’s great that you recognized it wasn’t serving you and cut it out! That’s a hard step most people don’t even get to until it’s way too late. Seriously, kudos.
The mornings are seriously so much better…physically anyway. And the fact that I can actually remember everything that happened the night before? Yes…those are the benefits that I hope to keep this streak going for a long time.