You know my best friend? The one that I wrote this post to? Well, I miss her. Quite a bit. She’s pregnant now, with her first baby. She just found out they’re having a girl. I’m happy for her. Truly and genuinely….I am happy for her. I’m happy she’s having a girl, because it gives […]
When you miss your best friend Read More »
Last night in therapy we were trying to get more into EMDR and I guess do all the state change things. Apparently that should only take like 20 minutes to get through, but I guess it took me over and hour. And I still fucked it up. I’m more than a little bit frustrated with
Apparently I still suck at EMDR Read More »
I don’t talk about him much….but, birth dad? You’re important to me. My husband is not the father to my 7 year old boy who I placed for adoption. His birth dad is my ex. And honestly? He’s the very person who saved me from myself during those years where life seemed too impossible to
There’s a very real possibility that within the next few weeks, I will absolutely (temporarily) become the very the worst version of myself. As of this moment, I have not got more than…25?hours sober in…years. I’ve pushed, I’ve tried, I’ve extended the zone…but let’s be real. It’s been years since I’ve ever been more than
“Please love me through it” Read More »
I’ve always been a writer. Even going as far back as elementary school, I’ve always gravitated towards writing to communicate my feelings. I had…a rather intense childhood, and it’s not something I like to think about or relive. Since we’re going to be starting EMDR in therapy soon…I’m kind of going to be forced to
Reconnecting with my past Read More »
Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to feel. Like I haven’t earned the right to be upset, or grieve or feel loss or pain or hurt. I always feel like my pain isn’t valid. Or that it isn’t big enough or real enough, or anything like that. I always look for others to validate
The validity of pain Read More »
It’s been 6 years now that you’ve been putting up with my shit. 6 years of you hanging in there with me. Of having my back…through the worst of times. And trust me…there have been a multitude of bad times. I’ve suggested, thought, accused, implied…whatever word you want to insert…you of not caring more times
Dear therapist, thanks for caring. Read More »
