Off to a better start…sort of

I feel better today than I did yesterday. Today is my husbands birthday, so I have him to focus on. I’m glad to be with him and celebrating him, it gives me something more positive to focus on.

Last night, right before we went to sleep, I asked if he would still love me when he was 29. This morning, when we woke up, I said “happy birthday…do you still love me?” Good news, he said yes. So that’s one less thing to worry about.

I’m going to try to keep today small and light. If it gets too big or too much, I know I need to step back. My capacity for stress is quite low right now, and I’m easily overwhelmed by my already insane life.

Today, I will focus on trying to keep it small and good. And when my husband gets home, we will eat his birthday dinner and cake and love each other.

My world feels too big right now, and all I can do is focus on the very next thing…one step at a time.

Of course I say that…and then the next thing I know, my 3 year old falls and drops something on his foot and how he’s bleeding and crying. So, like I said. Keep it small. One thing at a time. Just keep breathing and keep moving…it’s all I can do.

Today will be good. And I’ll worry about the rest of it tomorrow. But today, I owe it to my husband, and myself really, to be good.

Just keep it small…keep it small.

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