Bound to happen eventually…

Well, for the first time since this whole damn pandemic started…it’s finally here in my household.

Both my mom and my husband work in healthcare, and I’m honestly shocked we’ve all avoided it for this long. But my mom tested positive on Friday…and honestly, I’m freaking the fuck out.

I’m 34 weeks pregnant. That’s like….really fucking bad timing to get Covid.

My husband started getting symptoms yesterday, and isn’t feeling great today either. My mom has been isolating…but still. It’s only a matter of time before my dad gets it, too. And then the kids will get it. And if the kids get it, well, that’s it for me.

For the past few years, we’ve all been extremely hyper vigilant at keeping this away from our family and making sure our kids don’t get this. Because they have a neuromuscular disorder, they would both likely experience complications and are considered high risk. And now, because I’m pregnant, and have the same neuromuscular disorder…well, the timing is unbelievable bad.

My mom and husband are masked up and isolating, but I still can’t help but worry. For myself, for the kids…ugh. Talk about things I have no control over.

My husband won’t be able to take time off of work for both me and him. Meaning, if he’s sick, he’ll stay home for himself…but then if I get sick after him…well, that simply just sucks for me. Then I’ll be pregnant, sick, AND responsible for taking care of the kids, who may or may not also be sick at that point.

This whole scenario is basically terrible. And honestly, if I was for sure going to get it anyway, I wish I would have by now. I feel like I’m just delaying the inevitable at this point and getting closer and closer to being sick and actually going into labor. This baby could quite literally be born at any time now. And having Covid while being this pregnant increases your risk of preterm labor.

So…right now? I’m basically looking at my worst case scenario. My husband and mom will probably be better within the next week (I hope!), and that leaves me and the kids to be sick. I wish we would’ve gotten sick (and gotten better) first, if we have to anyway. Otherwise, worst case…me and the kids will be sick, I’ll go into labor with sick kids, and then baby boy is born into a freaking cesspool of germs. And that’s not even taking into account the possibility that my kids could experience complications and not handle being sick well at all.

Typically, my 5 year old handles respiratory illness pretty well, but my 3 year old doesn’t have the strength to cough effectively, and any small respiratory illness turns serious really quickly. So yeah, it’s scary.

Alright, well, my brain is officially spiraling. I can’t control this, and whatever happens happens. There’s nothing I can do about it.

Is it ridiculous that we’ve avoided Covid for THIS long, only to get it at seemingly the worst possible time? Yes. It’s absolutely ridiculous. And I’m really terrified that getting Covid right now will trigger labor to start, since I’m already so close to it anyway.

This whole thing is scary, and I honestly can’t believe it’s happening.

But it is what it is.

Even if it sucks.

This is just another thing I have absolutely no control over.