First of all, today is a special day because it’s me and my husbands 7th wedding anniversary. So…yay for that❤️. But I’ll get back to that.
Yesterday turned into a shitstorm quite quickly. After I wrote my post about having completely no energy, no spoons and just not feeling very okay at all…my son, once again, gave me a run for my money. I asked him to clean up, but I’m pretty sure that instead, he heard me ask him to please start World War 3. So…that was fun.
We got through it and things calmed down, but I was DONE.
After the baby woke up from his (2 hour 🙌) nap…I looked at my husband and told him that I NEEDED to get out of the house. So him and I and the baby went out and my parents stayed with the other 2 boys for a few hours.
See, this is kind of crazy. Because I literally never go out on weekends. Aside from driving my kids to their daily appointments and therapies…I don’t go out anywhere. So that just shows how desperate I was yesterday. We didn’t even go anywhere crazy. We went and bought the kids some clothes, and then went to my favorite bougie grocery store. I got my sushi, fruit tarts and Trulys…and some other random things. And then we went home and things were calm again.
I just had to get out, I needed to get away. I was starting to feel so suffocated and just…smothered I guess. It all got to be too much.
So today is our 7 year anniversary, and we usually make a pretty big deal out of our anniversary and have a “staycation”, where we stay in a hotel in town for a few nights. Obviously this year, with a newborn, we didn’t do that. We haven’t don’t anything really to celebrate yet, and I’m feeling a bit bummed about that. We have a reservation at our favorite restaurant next weekend, but I wish we could do something today, too.
I do have therapy tonight, and I’m definitely still going to that. It’s actually my therapists birthday today too, and I joked that my husband should come with me to therapy and we could all just spend the 2 hours having a big party.
I am glad that therapy is tonight, because I’ve been struggling a lot. Emotionally, I feel like I’m hanging on my a thread. I feel like I’m being tested and challenged in a whole new way that’s just…exhausting.
Today has been good and calm so far…and I’m desperately hoping that doesn’t change. Of course, it’s only 8am…so…we’ll see.
Anyway, I guess really, the moral of the story is that I’m just grateful someone agreed to love me for all of these years. I do love my husband, probably too much. We have our challenges, but overall, we are really strong and have a really solid relationship. And I’d marry him again if I had the chance to do it over.
Here’s a picture of my 6 year olds anniversary gifts for me this morning. A picture he colored, a necklace and a bracelet. This is the side of him that’s loving, creative and empathetic. It’s my favorite side of him.