My strongest desire right now is to run.

Run from my life.

Run from my problems, run from my fears.

Right now, things are just about as bad as they get.

On the outside? I’m seemingly very strong. Very put together…very normal.

But that’s not how I’m feeling.

I’m feeling frantic.

I’m feeling overwhelmed.

And I’m feeling like I just can’t take it.

I don’t want to be the strong one. I have to be…but I don’t feel like I can be.

I don’t want to use a bunch of words to say the same thing tonight.

It boils down to this.

On the outside, I’m killing it. I’m strong. I’m solid.

Because no one else in my life is, and I have to be.

But really? I’m a mess.

I want to run. I need to run.

There’s not a part of me that feels okay enough to stay here.

Yes. Outwardly, I’m functional. Communicative. Approachable and acceptable. But on the inside…my true feelings….that’s far from true.

I don’t know where we go from here.

But my urge is simply to run.

6 thoughts on “Run”

  1. Sometimes we can deal better with others when we can put our own emotions aside and view the situation as a bystander. It is however, only human to sometimes be overwhelmed by the importance of a situation or to feel distant because of it. It’s not an easy thing to have the weight of the entire world (it seems) on ones shoulders. But staying to face it rather than running, that’s the thing that impressed me! You couldn’t be called ‘brave’ if you didn’t acknowledge fears or trepidation. I wish you success in your endeavors and every happiness!

    1. Very true. Running doesn’t ever help, but sometimes it just feels like I need a minute to catch my breath!
      Thank you 😊

  2. I often listen to “The Escapist” but The Streets as it transports me to the days where I did run.
    As easily as I could now, I know how…potentially harmful it could be. The draw is really strong.

    Hoping you’re past the worst of the flight. As others said, seeing it from the viewpoint of others can be helpful. It’s not easy to start, but worth it once you can rationalise. You got this

    1. Thanks 🩵
      Yeah, running definitely is more harmful in the long run. It really never solves anything. And it does always help seeing someone else’s point of view!

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