Opening up? Is that okay?

Life got real heavy, real fast.

Things went from 0 to 100 before I even knew what hit me. Life, death, and all of it in between.

All I want to do is open up and be real…talk about the shit that means the most, the things that are the most important.

But opening up when the world around you has taught you that just isn’t okay? It just isn’t safe?

You’ve been taught to shut your mouth, smile, and accept what you can get away with.

But what if I don’t want to get away with it anymore?

So what if I can drink away my sorrows, and everyone is none the wiser?

All I want is to open up…but my stories are so often too dark for the typical audience…my pain is too much, my self preservation makes no sense…

I need to talk openly without fear of relational repercussions.

I wish I could speak my truth without scaring anyone away.

Like I said…shit got real. Fast.

I’m now on my own, and these nights are filled with darkness.

I can’t navigate this darkness on my own.

This week more than ever, I need the gift of speaking freely. I need to not feel alone.

I need to not be afraid.

But I just don’t think that’s possible.

Why do I have to face these battles alone?

Can you hang in there with me? Will my stories scare you away? Can we walk through this darkness together? Or will that burn everything down around me?

Please, can we walk this life together?

Because doing it alone is going to kill me…holding on to all of this darkness has officially begun to destroy me…

6 thoughts on “Opening up? Is that okay?”

    1. It’s been a loooong few days. Derek flew out because his dads health took a bad turn, so I’ve been managing here on my own. And the nights suck

  1. Oh yes dear! I for one, think you should open up. People are so often just phony baloney; always talking about incidental trifles. And it bores me! Showing your true feelings is genuine. It means your made of real flesh and blood. By all means, say what’s troubling you. I will give you a listening ear! I’m afraid and lonely too sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

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