Well, for the night I had last night, I woke up in a surprisingly good mood.
Like, it’s actually kind of shocking, and I’m super confused by it, but….a win is a win?
Yesterday was a little bit hard, but it ended with therapy, which went really well. It was mostly just me talking for 2 hours about all the new and fun ways in which my life is hard.
It’s kind of like…if my life was hard before (which it was) it’s like…holy shit hard now. So that’s just been a lot of fun.
But therapy went well. And we focused a lot on how to…not fall apart? Life’s about to get real hard(er) and more complicated…and I need to be here for it. I need to be present and …not just falling apart because it’s all too hard.
But then I got home from therapy…and it was fine. Everything was fine, and we had a good night…until I did the thing that I do sometimes where I accuse my husband of cheating on me?
He’s absolutely never cheated on me, and I’m quite positive he never would. But every so often I’m just sure that he MUST be.
Yeah, super normal stuff, I know.
So, anyway, I’m all hurt and upset for literally no reason, honestly, at this point I’m probably projecting my feelings that have nothing to do with him onto him (I’m literally realizing this as I’m writing, gooo writing!) and we’re texting (because I’m in the bathroom hanging out and drinking because that’s my sad girl spot 🤷🏻♀️) and yeah, I don’t know.
I’m *trying* to drink less and not let it continue to increase…but as we all know, drinking is my go to response for whenever I’m feeling basically anything unpleasant.
But what was different about last night was that he actually seemed to care? And instead of ignoring me and my feelings, he addressed them and didn’t ignore me and we actually resolved it. And it made me feel loved and cared about.
So, yeah. It was a little bit of a rough night, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been…and I tried soooo hard not to go crazy with drinking. I definitely drank more than I should’ve…but it could have been a lot worse.
I think that’s what we’re going with lately.
If it could’ve been worse….that’s a win.
And we take wins VERY seriously over here.
I’ll leave you with this video…because I’m quite literally obsessed with it and cannot stop watching it.
But I also want to say a huge FUCK YOU to muscular dystrophy. Fuck you for trying to kill my baby.
Stupid fucking genetic disorder.