When I woke up this morning, I was expecting it to be a normal day. A normal Sunday. And for the most part…it was. Except for the parts that weren’t. One of my first thoughts upon awakening was “oh shit, it’s Father’s Day”. We woke up later than normal, 6:24am rather than 6:00am. That meant […]
The wounds of trauma Read More »
You all know this weekend, at least here in America, is Mother’s Day. But what you very likely didn’t know, is that today, the Saturday before Mother’s Day, is known as Birth Mother’s Day. It’s a day specifically for birth moms, those that have placed a child for adoption. Every adoption and adoption journey looks
Heard, acknowledged, and not forgotten about. Read More »
I need a minute. Or maybe two. Just to catch my breath again. These past few weeks, these past few months even, have been…unimaginably difficult. And truthfully, there’s no end in sight. I need a moment of stillness. Of peace, and stillness…and quietness. No fires to put out. No emergencies. Or hospital stays. Or crises.
Catching my breath Read More »
Dear son, Today, you turned 10 years old. Despite the fact that absolutely nothing about today went right, I still did what I always do on April 4th each year. Listened to my songs that remind me of you. Thought of you ALL day long. Carried you with me, and honored you in every way
He’s 10, and the grief doesn’t end. Read More »
I’ve been struggling recently with the word “fair”. My life certainly isn’t fair. It sucks. It’s hard. And I hate it. My kids are suffering, my family is heavily impacted, and it’s been brutal. I got 1 hour and 27 minutes of sleep last night. Why? Well, as you may or may not know, my
What is “fair”, does that even exist? Read More »
The worst part about a Tuesday morning is how far away the next Monday night is. That’s what I’m thinking about at just after 6am this morning while laying in a hospital room for the 7th day in a row, while my son sleeps a few feet away. Last night felt almost normal. Almost. I
One foot in front of the other Read More »
March 31st. The last day before April. Better known as my husbands birthday. I woke up today wanting to die slightly more than usual. Which, for this time of year, is a whole freaking lot. I woke up alone, in a hospital room, on a hard, lumpy pull out bed, where my son slept 4
This morning started off basically as badly as it could have. My body is so far and beyond physically exhausted, last night all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Going to sleep before midnight and way too many drinks is a nightly occurrence for me. Yet last night, it was 10pm, I didn’t
When you just need a minute Read More »
Well…we’re here! We’re officially in the “my brain can’t handle life anymore and I’ll probably ruin any and everything around me” mode. My birth son’s 10th birthday is exactly 2 weeks away. The service for my husbands dad who passed away a few weeks ago happens to be the same day. Life is so impossible
Music and dysfunction Read More »
If there’s one thing that’s absolutely true in life, it’s that grief is not one size fits all. How one person feels, or outwardly handles grief may be completely different than you, or not what you’d expect…and that’s fine. It’s one of the those things that’s just so individualized and so personal, and you can’t
Grief looks different on everyone Read More »
