Tuesday’s are OT days (occupational therapy) for the boys. Usually it’s a light, fun time where everyone is (most often) in a good mood. Including me. I rarely show emotion in general, but even if I seem a little off, their therapist will notice and call me out on it. I guess that’s what happens […]
I cried in therapy today, just not my own Read More »
I’ve been told “go home and enjoy them” more times than I can count. I’ve been told “there’s nothing we can do, we’ll know more as the disease progresses” over and over. My future, our future, is uncertain. I grieve the memories I will miss out on. Will they live long enough to really….live? Does
Missing out on memories Read More »
I often (okay, basically always) allow myself just the bare minimum of basic human needs necessary for survival. I don’t know about you, but for me in my life, I put myself last. Being a mom, and also having extremely low self worth as it is, it’s so incredibly easy to just forget about myself
When “self care” isn’t really self care Read More »
Parenting. That’s it. Parenting. I can spend the entire day cleaning only to look like nothing has changed. I can spend the entire day at the service of others only to feel like I’ve let them all down. Suddenly I look at the time and the day is gone. It’s nearly dinner time, then bed
Working all day to Accomplish nothing Read More »
He’s only 4. He’s brilliant and capable. He can drive it himself. Today when he woke up, he knew it was the day. He’s been eagerly awaiting this day since he first got measured, first knew he was getting one. It was a “milestone” I had put off. My son needing a power wheelchair felt
Today, he got his wheelchair Read More »
I have a hard week coming up. Most of my weeks are hard to begin with, but next week we’re going to be entering some new territory, and I’m just not ready for it. I don’t know how to talk about it, I don’t think I even know how I feel about it. The reality
I don’t always know how to say how I feel Read More »
It’s just typical day in the world of special needs parenting. Wake up, breakfast, naps, therapy. Tuesday is OT (occupational therapy) day. Everyone is in a decent enough mood. No fires to put out (except for the literal mini fire in the toaster at 6am, thanks husband). But I still have this heaviness within me.
When there’s “nothing wrong” Read More »