I feel like I’m caught in between two realities I don’t quite fit into anymore. Two worlds I have no business being a part of. An old and a new. A past and a future. And I’m not sure I belong on either side. The anxiety tonight is intense. The physical pain of the withdrawals […]
Okay. I’m going for it tonight. It’s only 8pm, and I’m hurting like hell right now, but I’m going to try to make tonight the night where I don’t drink anything. I’ve tapered down for the past 3 nights as much as I could. But tonight, between the significant cravings and the physical withdrawal symptoms,
A real day 1. So far. Read More »
Here we are at night number…1? Still zero? Two? I honestly don’t know. Last night I decided to take a small, tiny, half of a step to really try getting sober. Again. So I drank half of my usual amount, despite knowing how much it would suck for me. And oh, how it sucked. After
Small steps are still steps Read More »
The past 6 days have honestly been the most wild whirlwind of events and roller coasters that I’ve experienced in quite some time. Okay, here’s the deal. It’s March. Which means, it’s birthday month. Technically, yes. My birth son’s birthday is in April…April 4th. But the entire lead up to it is in March, which
Ready to fight, almost ready to hope. Read More »
This is a hard season, I’m not going to lie. My mind has been messy for a minute now, the trauma of the past year, and really all of it in general, is catching up to me. I’ve been holding on, fighting a winless fight for a long time now. This time of year isn’t
Losing battles, winning wars Read More »
My lovely brain is such a beautiful mess. A creative, captivating space, craving to be engaged, longing for meaning, connection…substance. Substance in the form of something meaningful. Something that means something. More than the surface level interaction. A way to connect. A way to engage. Connect my messy but uniquely beautiful brain waves to yours.
The path to connection Read More »
Waking up this morning felt like I left the parts of myself required to be a functioning adult in yesterday. As soon as I woke up, I felt…off. Legitimately like I’m lacking something. A serious lacking of spoons? Depression? The burden of a long as hell week catching up with me? All of the above
More than I have to give Read More »
Well…you know what I always say. My life will never be boring. I will always have something to talk about, something crazy going on. And oh, how this held true yesterday. Yesterday morning, my 15lb dog, Calvin, decided he wanted to ✨spice✨ up my day. He had some help from my 2 year old, but
When your dog eats poison Read More »
One year later, and absolutely nothing is the same. February 13th, 2024. Just 4 days after our family returned home from our trip to the NIH. Our lives would truly be changed forever. It was a Tuesday morning. I dropped the my oldest son off at school, a first grader just beginning his school career.
One year later, and a whole lot more broken. Read More »
I have so much racing through my mind and my heart. So much that I’m feeling, thinking…hoping for and afraid of. I feel so much. Yet, I don’t feel like I have any words. It happens occasionally, more often than I’d like…maybe twice a year or so. But I get this feeling. Like…I’m so broken.
