Of all I had to deal with tonight, you were the most unexpected.
I’m extremely rarely brought to tears…but tonight I easily am.
In terms of the evening, in terms of what I was afraid was going to happen…things went unfortunately as expected.
But I didn’t expect to see you. To see pictures of you…
Fuck.
Seeing you absolutely brings me to my knees. There is nothing that surpasses that…nothing worse than that pain. I’m not kidding you…an unexpected sighting of your gorgeous, perfect face…it surpasses anything else that could possible be.
There’s no pain in this universe compared to unexpectedly seeing your smile.
There’s no pain in this world…no trauma to be dealt with…there is nothing.
My boy….there is nothing greater than you.
I don’t give a shit what happened to me tonight.
I saw your face. I saw your smile. I saw you.
And shit.
It flooded me with every kind of emotion.
It was worth the price, you always are
I have more to say…but for tonight…shit.
There are floods of tears in honor of you. I’ll never deny this. I’ll often deny emotions, feelings…pain… but I will never deny you.
You are my most beautiful pain. I love you. More than any pain on this planet…I love you.
You are worth every bit of sacrifice. I fucking hope you know that.
Shit. There’s nothing else I can say.
I miss you always, but tonight I missed you extra.