Month: March 2022

A grumpy Sunday morning

It’s Sunday morning. Things should be fine, nothing is “wrong” nothing bad happened, but I woke up in a bad mood. I don’t want to be around people, and to be honest, I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t want to be around me either. I don’t feel good about myself physically, I’m craving alcohol …

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There are things more Important than your weight

I’ve always…very quietly, and very under the radar, struggled with weight gain. As in, it’s something I hate doing, and therefor don’t. My BMI typically hangs out around 18 or 19. And while I don’t go to extreme measures to keep it that way (anymore), I actively make food choices to support a “healthier” lifestyle. …

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When avoidance no longer serves you

Oh, avoidance. The hot button word of my life lately. I’m pretty sure it’s in my top 5 of skills mastered, right alongside sarcasm and “not giving a shit”. Avoidance is…basically the only way I know how to deal with hard things. I don’t think I’ve ever learned anything other than that, and it’s honestly …

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Worthy of pride?

It has been 32 days since I’ve taken a drink. It’s been that long since I got a positive pregnancy test. I want to be proud of myself. I want to feel complete, or accomplished, or any sort of positive thing about it…but I don’t. It doesn’t feel earned. It doesn’t feel like anything worthy …

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Dear rapist, haven’t you taken enough from me?

I had honestly hoped, as shitty as the situation was, that things could eventually become.. better. I thought things could…possibly one day resemble some sort of normalcy. Although I knew I might never forgive you, I tried to convince myself that maybe I could try. Because regardless of the shit that you did to me …

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