Well, that was unexpected.

Well, yesterday sure turned into a shit show pretty quickly.

As I was getting the kids ready for their therapies (Tuesdays are OT and speech days), I guess I was moving too fast, or not being careful, or I don’t know…but, I fell, and my stomach hit the ground.


Because I’m already considered high risk in this pregnancy, my doctor (who my husband made me message) wanted me to go straight to labor and delivery to be checked out. UGH.

I don’t know if you know this, but I have some pretty significant medical PTSD. Going to the hospital, alone….it was literally the last thing I wanted to do.

I didn’t know it, because I can’t see down there anymore, but I actually have a pretty big bruise on my stomach. We also learned that my placenta is a piece of shit, and at this point, I’m just trying to stay pregnant as long as possible. (Aren’t you glad that you have that information about me? 🙂 )

Despite the fact that the on call OB wanted to keep me longer for monitoring, she called my regular OB who told her that I was “reliable”, and she trusted me enough to send me home to monitor for symptoms.

I made it out of the hospital JUST in time to make it to therapy right on time, which I really was grateful for. Therapy went well, and we talked a lot about self defeating behaviors again. I guess that’ll be the focus for the next little bit, which is honestly fine, because I know I need a lot of help with that.

The new couch was nice, but I was definitely struggling, and in pain after not very long. Of course, that could be related to pain from me falling, but who knows.

I’m still in a ton of pain today. My back and stomach is hurting like crazy, and my hand is hurting too. I guess I tried to break my fall from having an abdominal impact, but I wasn’t strong enough to keep myself up.

My husband left work early to meet me at my kids therapy, so I could go straight to the hospital. He stayed home for the rest of the day yesterday, but wasn’t able to stay home today. Which really fucking sucks, because I’m actually in a ton of pain and really just want to rest.

He seems stressed and overwhelmed about everything, so I’m trying not to bother him. But I really need help and support right now, and I really need to take the time to rest…which I’m just not getting.

Overall, I’m glad it wasn’t worse, and that so far, the baby seems okay. If the worst that comes of it is a few days of me being in pain, so be it. That’s no big deal. But it’s scary knowing that my body is declining at such a rate to where I did put my baby in danger.

If there’s anything that’s been made clear to me over the past few days, it’s that I NEED to slow down. I just…don’t know how to.

Not when I don’t have the support needed to slow down and stop. Life goes on, the kids need to be taken care of, and my life just can’t stop.

No matter how much I need it to.

12 thoughts on “Well, that was unexpected.”

  1. I’m glad that after such a stress-inducing day, therapy was more of a success than it sometimes has been in the past. I hope that you find the time and means to get the rest you need. Sending love and light your way, Girl! ✨💜✨

    1. Yes, I was super relieved about that. I definitely needed a good session. I’m hoping the rest of the week is easier and I can find some time to just be still.

  2. Damn, things just keep getting better and better! 😬 I’m glad at least the fall didn’t send you into labour.

    I would like to be there and beat your parents with a rubber chicken or two until they get off their asses and help you. Or I wish I could help you, since there’s probably a better chance for the chicks to help you than your parents…

    1. Hah, them helping. That’s funny. Yeah, I mean as long as they’re not actively hurting or yelling at me, I’d consider that acceptable.

      I’m definitely glad it wasn’t worse!

  3. Alana, you got me scared there for a while! Happy to hear that baby’s doing fine in there. I would tell you to take it easy but I know it’s easier said than day! Just stay well and feel better, dear 🙂

    1. I was scared too! Yeah, I wish it was easier to take it easy…but at least the kids go to bed and I have the rest of the night to relax. That’s always something to look forward to!

      1. Of course! Take your time to get back to yourself. Your baby needs it. And YOU need it.
        Btw, does the Dr. predict that you’ll have earlier due to your placenta? Hope baby stays put for a while in there…

      2. Yeah, they were already concerned that he’d come early because of my physical condition and strength, but this definitely makes them more worried about prematurity.

      3. Wow. I guess your job now is to take it easy physically and give your body and baby some rest.
        Will think about you! Hoping for baby to stay put inside his mamma and be such a fighter as she is ❤️

  4. I’m glad the fall didn’t bring any (more) damage and you were able to make it to therapy.
    I’m sorry to read your parents being so bad… It must suck to know there’s someone out there who could help but who chooses not to 😔 I wish I lived closer though, as I feel like I should do something to help as you need it. I’m so sorry I can’t…
    Wishing you much strength and that recovery may be smooth. ♥

    1. Thank you ❤️ that’s sweet. I often wish a lot of people lived closer so we could all just be there for each other. Life would be so much easier if the people we cared about, and that cared about us, weren’t barred by location.

      1. Yes that’s definitely true. Often the people that care most live so far away… It’s weird that people nearby seem to take people close more for granted than people with space between them do. At least, that’s how I often perceive this.
        Wishing you a lovely weekend, hopefully you’ll have some relax time when your husband can be with you. 😊

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