This morning started off bright and early at 5am with an out of nowhere panic attack. Love that for me. Funny how these keep happening on Fridays. Every other Friday is pay day. Which normally is great. Except now these paychecks are spent before they even hit. And we’re in this cycle of things just […]
5am panic attacks, and finding ways to be grateful. Read More »
Ohhh boy. Things have ramped up over the last few days here. First of all, send up your prayers or good vibes or your positive energy or whatever you got to throw at me…because the flu is officially here. Phoenix tested positive yesterday, and it’s only a matter of time before the rest of us
Buckle up, life is about to get interesting Read More »
Over the weekend, I had the worst night I’ve had in…a looooong time. It ended looking like a lot of really horrific nights from my past. It ended up being me, sitting on the bathroom floor (my runaway from life and want to die place that I go) with a glass of alcohol, and one
Triggers, whether you expect them or not. Read More »
Tonight has been one trigger after another, after another. It doesn’t matter what the fuck the cause was. Or the result, or the aftermath. Or even the aftermath of the aftermath. Because it was all wrong. And it was all fucked up. Be it the events of the week (my appointment with my neuromuscular doc
The past few days have been…a lot. Tuesday night I had therapy, which went well. It does kind of feel like it’s maybe a safe place where I can say or think or feel what I want or need to and not have to worry quite so much about being judged or looked down upon
The courage to fight anyway Read More »
Damn. I hate phases of life like this. Where the dark feels impermeable, the hope is completely nonexistent, and the way out doesn’t seem to exist. I’ve been lying and bullshitting my way through the days these past few weeks. Showing up and trying to shove the depression monster down. But at night, it just
Depression Monster Read More »
Once again, here we are in Texas with well below freezing temps, waiting on yet another snow/ice storm to grace us with its presence this week. I’m not mad about it, the born and raised Long Islander was built for this and it finally feels right for my body temperature wise here. I’m still having
Venting about venting, and I’m so glad it’s winter Read More »
Last night I had therapy. It was one that I was anxiously anticipating for a few weeks, and to be honest, the anticipation of this particular appointment definitely messed me up mentally a little bit. What ended up being a nearly 2 and a half hour session definitely provided me with answers to questions I’ve
Getting an adult autism diagnosis: Confirmed, confused, and validated Read More »
I spent all morning this morning writing a blog post that I’m honestly pretty proud of. It took a long time, and I poured a lot of heart into it. It’s completely finished, titled and tags and all. So why not post it yet? I don’t know. Something still felt too scary about it. I
Overcoming fears, one post at a time Read More »
Today is the first day since mid December that things have calmed down enough to resume what seems to be our normal schedule and routine. The kids are back in school for real now with no threats of snow days, my husband is back to working his normal hours and the kids therapy schedule has
