This morning, I had my first appointment with my high risk OB at Maternal Fetal Medicine. It was…a lot. While this is my 4th pregnancy, it is my first time being considered high risk, mostly because now, we know what we are dealing with. I had a thorough and complete ultrasound for the first 45 […]
When you can’t live in denial any longer Read More »
While not the intention, that was the result. When my husband and I decided to try for our 3rd (my 4th) baby, we knew things would have to change. I’d have to be sober. Totally and completely. From day 1. Something that I haven’t been in over 3 years, and even then, only ever interrupted
Another “save me from myself” baby Read More »
I’ve always…very quietly, and very under the radar, struggled with weight gain. As in, it’s something I hate doing, and therefor don’t. My BMI typically hangs out around 18 or 19. And while I don’t go to extreme measures to keep it that way (anymore), I actively make food choices to support a “healthier” lifestyle.
There are things more Important than your weight Read More »
I had honestly hoped, as shitty as the situation was, that things could eventually become.. better. I thought things could…possibly one day resemble some sort of normalcy. Although I knew I might never forgive you, I tried to convince myself that maybe I could try. Because regardless of the shit that you did to me
Dear rapist, haven’t you taken enough from me? Read More »
I’m just here to say that while it usually takes me 5-6 days to go through a large bottle of 94 proof, very strong liquor… It’s now been 6 days since I’ve had any drink of any kind. You might get sick of me saying it, but shit. That’s a big deal for me. And
A different kind of 6 days Read More »
Hour 1- 8:40pmI’ve already pushed it 1 hour and 49 minutes. The pain is intense. The headache, she shakiness, the pounding heart. I need to do this slowly. I need to taper. One drink tonight. I’m only 3 weeks, 1 day. I found out as early as possible to give myself the best chance before
I’ve taken so many tests. I know it’s still early, but I needed to know. They’ve all been “negative”. Yesterday I convinced myself that there was a line. Literally barely there, but I hoped. This morning I didn’t see one. But I also gave up and didn’t look. When I back a little while later