You all know this weekend, at least here in America, is Mother’s Day. But what you very likely didn’t know, is that today, the Saturday before Mother’s Day, is known as Birth Mother’s Day. It’s a day specifically for birth moms, those that have placed a child for adoption. Every adoption and adoption journey looks […]
Heard, acknowledged, and not forgotten about. Read More »
Dear son, Today, you turned 10 years old. Despite the fact that absolutely nothing about today went right, I still did what I always do on April 4th each year. Listened to my songs that remind me of you. Thought of you ALL day long. Carried you with me, and honored you in every way
He’s 10, and the grief doesn’t end. Read More »
The worst part about a Tuesday morning is how far away the next Monday night is. That’s what I’m thinking about at just after 6am this morning while laying in a hospital room for the 7th day in a row, while my son sleeps a few feet away. Last night felt almost normal. Almost. I
One foot in front of the other Read More »
March 31st. The last day before April. Better known as my husbands birthday. I woke up today wanting to die slightly more than usual. Which, for this time of year, is a whole freaking lot. I woke up alone, in a hospital room, on a hard, lumpy pull out bed, where my son slept 4
My 7 year old son has been in the hospital since Tuesday afternoon dealing with a “severe asthma exacerbation”. (Picture of my actual life below) His lungs got extremely clamped down, and took their sweet time to make even the smallest amount of progress. It’s been exhausting. He very quickly went from room air, to
Hospital stays and exhaustion. Read More »
This morning started off basically as badly as it could have. My body is so far and beyond physically exhausted, last night all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Going to sleep before midnight and way too many drinks is a nightly occurrence for me. Yet last night, it was 10pm, I didn’t
When you just need a minute Read More »
I’m drowning faster than I am able to pop my head up above the surface to catch my breath. It all keeps piling on. Like weights added to my feet. I’m trying my best to keep afloat. Get my gasps of air whenever the opportunity presents itself. But it seems like life is working against
Sinking or swimming Read More »
Well…we’re here! We’re officially in the “my brain can’t handle life anymore and I’ll probably ruin any and everything around me” mode. My birth son’s 10th birthday is exactly 2 weeks away. The service for my husbands dad who passed away a few weeks ago happens to be the same day. Life is so impossible
Music and dysfunction Read More »
I feel like I just can’t anymore. And that’s hard. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I feel like can’t do it. I can’t be the person everyone needs me to be. I can’t go to sleep because the nightmares terrify me. Or I’m (accurately so) afraid to fall asleep, because I know damn well
I can’t anymore……..can I? Read More »
If there’s one thing that’s absolutely true in life, it’s that grief is not one size fits all. How one person feels, or outwardly handles grief may be completely different than you, or not what you’d expect…and that’s fine. It’s one of the those things that’s just so individualized and so personal, and you can’t
Grief looks different on everyone Read More »
